Don't Care How, I Want it Now!

It was Summer today, so I decided to go out for a leisurely Sunday morning run. Actually by the time I had decided what I should wear as it got hotter and hotter, and what music I should run to - radio, because I was just taking it easy, it was more like midday. So off I went for my run in the midday sun, and did indeed pass a few mad dogs and English men, also out chasing pavements.

Radio 1, Fearne Cotton, to be precise, proved great company and even made me laugh out loud a few times - yes it is difficult to run and laugh at same time. And as aways it gave me the chance to hear the odd new-music track shoehorned in between the current play list of songs, which are generally played at least three or four times every day. You know them - a bit of Take That, FloRida, Rihanna, Kanye, Kings of Leon yada yada. But just occasionally you do get that gem of a song that makes you think - whoaaah, where can I get that? I had one such moment today when a song by somebody featuring GaGa was played. And then Fearne says that the release date for download was the end of August. What???!!! You mean I have to wait 3 weeks to be able to legally download something Ive just heard on the radio? On what broadband-saturated, digital-age planet does that sound sensible? Whatever! I thought, I will just go without - didn't like it that much anyway.

Now rewind to about 3 weeks ago and it was a different story. I'm on my way to salsa one evening, and I hear Zane Lowe battling against some very hip and trendy DJs, when they drop a track which I decide simply has to be the soundtrack to my Summer. Anyway, by Ducksauce (aka Armand van Helden and A-Trak) is just a wicked blend of soul, funky house and harmonising vocals - everything I like rolled into one. That very weekend, I go onto napster to find the track - no joy. I then try i-tunes - same. Nothing, nada, not even a link or release date on A-Traks Myspace page. What is a girl to do? The good weather is all but over, and my soundtrack song, which will paint my Summer memories a lovely rosy hue is not available.

So, I put my googling, interrogation skills to good use and found an mp3 of the track on some random site. Was it an illegal download? To be honest, I really don't know. All I do know is that I was more than happy to pay for it, and perhaps listen to, and buy some of their other tracks, but they weren't ready for me to buy it yet. Hello??!!! And then bands and record companies complain about file sharing ,and not getting paid for digital content. Hello??!! Wake up and smell the coffee. Even Jay-Z said it on Zane Ls show a few weeks ago. Recorded, or digital music is like something that's in the clouds, its free, and difficult to monetise. Get over it, stop making it difficult for people to buy digital content, stop giving the file sharers a good reason to go down the illegal route. When I hear something on the radio, I want to be able to buy it. End of. Get with the program and figure out the new business models. The Internet has not time for inefficiency, and middlemen who add no value. Simply folding your arms, and spending all of your efforts on trying to lock the digital walls after the horse has not only bolted but is enjoying a skinny, soy latte with an extra shot in Starbucks, is getting tiring.

Breaking Up is Never Easy

No, this post isn't another autopsy of Katie and Peter. For a few years now, I have started to liken a lot of things in life to relationships. I have a strange feeling that this may coincide with my recent discovery, some might say obsession, of Sex And The City. My assay of SATC and its impact on modern every day life - women, men, friendship, cocktail menus - must be saved for another day.

I'm rambling here about change, and why it is so difficult to do - either to oneself or to someone else. I realise there are a plethora of models, hypotheses etc on the subject but I still don't quite get it. Is it really just about comfort zone, dislike of being changed, fear of the unknown, difficulty of learning new things, not believing that the trade off of the new benefits are worth losing the old? I used to believe one or all of those reasons but now I'm really not sure.

Recently, I broke up with my employer. Why was it such a difficult decision? Generally I have always sought change because I believe it is key to becoming a bigger, and more fulfilled person. There is, however, something about throwing the baby out with the bathwater, that comes with change. Just like an episode of SATC (sorry), when SJP has to finish with a guy who has "performance issues", she is actually more upset about ending her new friendship with his mother. When something changes, you undoubtedly lose something. The baby in the bathwater with a job might be the people, the short commute, the perks, your uber-cool boss. I mean, who would ever be able to leave the Googleplex, with its free dry-cleaning, gourmet meals and swimming pools?

Is it really down to that - fear of losing more than you gain? Is it really just a logical, even if subconscious, thought process that weighs up the old vs the new. I have no qualms admitting that I am a hopeless optimist. Now, don't get me wrong, I take a very analytical, rational approach to decisions. But I tend to err on the side of "this will turn out OK because ....... and even if it isn't, then I will ....."

So perhaps positivity plays a big part in how people deal with change (I think Seligman might agree), and why I tend to embrace the new. That, and the knowledge that I am in control of my destiny, whatever happens.

More on change another day