Friday 1 May 2009

The Real Bucket List


I went to a funeral today. I have been to many funerals in my thirty-something years. It's said that death is the only thing certain in life. That, and taxes of course.

I have been to many funerals where people have known they were dying eg. of long-term illnesses, like my Grandfather's cancer thirteen years ago, and funerals where people have died suddenly - no warning.

Today's funeral service was for someone who had battled with an illness her whole life - sickle cell anaemia, and had been threatened with death on many occasions in her thirty-something years. But this last time it was for real. So, when she was told she had two weeks to live, she wrote her own bucket list. Actually, not so much a bucket list, but a list of people that she wanted to speak to before she was unable. Phone calls, meetings, and a final farewell chat with her local church family - which was videoed and played at the funeral, were all a part of her preparing and saying goodbye in a dignified and positive way, smiling to the end. At the end of the service one of my closest friends who was sat next to me gave me a big hug and said " let's not wait until then to show how much we love each other". I couldn't agree more.

I have been to many funerals, and it's fair to say I'm not a big fan of them, generally. But when people can truly and honestly say that someone's death had the same unequivocally positive impact that their life had, on everyone they came into contact with, that's pretty amazing.

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