Q Do you want to walk with me, or run on your own?

This is the question my other half asked me on Sunday morning as I was doing up the laces to my running shoes.

Beset by a knee injury, he has taken to walking a few miles on a Sunday morning, whilst I run almost every day, and usually clock in a long run (9 m +) at the week-end.  Concerned that we don't spend enough time together, I am pushing for more family mealtimes, more family days out, and other types of 'glue'.  Its a combination of the textbooks, my traditional, religious upbringing and my common sense, that tell me this 'glue' is important.

Glue is the perfect adhesive when things are meant to be stuck together, and you are using the right type of glue.  Being 'stuck together' is the perfect state when you believe the same things, have the same things in common, are heading in the same direction, and at the same pace.  When some, or all of the above, is not true, being stuck together is actually pretty uncomfortable, full of compromise and can causes a lot of friction, heat and often pain.

I have a wise old owl friend who told me years ago, that many couples diverge and converge at different times of their partnership.  A bit like the ebb and flow of a river, the dynamics change, and it causes a little bit of shifting.  Now, I don't know many couples who have a perfect relationship, or even one that I envy, if truth be told.  Picking the right partner is not something that is taught at any stage of life and so most of us get it wrong - fact!  So, I'm thinking that maybe the trick here is not trying to force the compromise, in order to conform to the 'state' that we think we should be in - 'stuck together', blissfully happy all the time, soul mates.  We have two clear choices - we can either co-exist in close proximity but perhaps ditching the matching kagools, or we can create artificial harmony with compromise that becomes so compromising we call it quits.

For now, I'm going to run on my own.