Q Do you want to walk with me, or run on your own?

This is the question my other half asked me on Sunday morning as I was doing up the laces to my running shoes.

Beset by a knee injury, he has taken to walking a few miles on a Sunday morning, whilst I run almost every day, and usually clock in a long run (9 m +) at the week-end.  Concerned that we don't spend enough time together, I am pushing for more family mealtimes, more family days out, and other types of 'glue'.  Its a combination of the textbooks, my traditional, religious upbringing and my common sense, that tell me this 'glue' is important.

Glue is the perfect adhesive when things are meant to be stuck together, and you are using the right type of glue.  Being 'stuck together' is the perfect state when you believe the same things, have the same things in common, are heading in the same direction, and at the same pace.  When some, or all of the above, is not true, being stuck together is actually pretty uncomfortable, full of compromise and can causes a lot of friction, heat and often pain.

I have a wise old owl friend who told me years ago, that many couples diverge and converge at different times of their partnership.  A bit like the ebb and flow of a river, the dynamics change, and it causes a little bit of shifting.  Now, I don't know many couples who have a perfect relationship, or even one that I envy, if truth be told.  Picking the right partner is not something that is taught at any stage of life and so most of us get it wrong - fact!  So, I'm thinking that maybe the trick here is not trying to force the compromise, in order to conform to the 'state' that we think we should be in - 'stuck together', blissfully happy all the time, soul mates.  We have two clear choices - we can either co-exist in close proximity but perhaps ditching the matching kagools, or we can create artificial harmony with compromise that becomes so compromising we call it quits.

For now, I'm going to run on my own.

Urban myth: illegal downloading stealing legit album sales

Remember when people thought the Earth was flat, or that cannabis was completely harmless, that Terry Wogan did not wear a hair piece, and that Coca Cola invented Santa.

If people hear something often enough, they start to believe it. Album and single sales started to decline around the time the Internet started to grow, ergo illegal downloading took revenue from the music industry. Absolute and utter poppycock, complete bobbins, fabricated nonsense spun by lazy music executives who can't come up with new ways to make money in a rapidly changing world.

Jessie J, she of absolutely amazing talent, was heard saying on Radio 1 yesterday "fans don't realise that if they download my music illegally I won't be able to make a second album". Hmmm, let me get this straight. Firstly, and I've said this before, does she really think that every illegal download would have been a single/album sale? She's damn good, and possibly the best new talent to come out of the UK, but really?! Second, surely her "fans" are actually very likely to buy her music in a legit way, be that download or physical, as well as going to her concerts and subscribing to whatever else her mgmt company has the commercial sense to put out there.

What is definitely progress, is the fact that music you hear on the radio will now be available to download immediately. At last! It's only taken the labels a million years to realise that this is by far one of the biggest frustrations about trying to buy music to listen to as soon as you first hear it. Maybe they are finally starting to think about how people consume music, rather than thinking about the transaction - legit or not - these are two completely different things and probably increasingly unrelated.

Every day's a School Day

I always thought that I was a glutton for change.  I thrive on the learning that comes from taking the experience from situation number 1, applying it to situation number 2, seeing whether it gives the expected result and altering my approach accordingly.  Change may as well be my middle name.  Or so I thought, until a recent reorganisation left me feeling less than positive about the new landscaoe that was being drawn.

In a challenging, new corporate environment I had been merrily filling a sheryl-shaped void for the last 18 months, bringing light and delight to one and all (ok, maybe not all).  But suddenly it felt as though my world, and everything familiar was being turned on its head.  Things were changing and I was no longer calling the shots when it came to my place in that world.  Not sure where exactly I was, or presently am, on the change curve, but my initial reaction was to fight this feeling of a lack of control, with the need to take control.  So I insisted on certain outcomes, and even considered resigning altogether - in short, hurling my toys out of the pram and onto the nursery floor, hitting a few of the other children and one of the nursery teachers on the way down.

A wise owl told me to be patient, don't do anything rash, give people time before making snap judgements.  And they were absolutely right.  Why I made such a fuss in the first place I really don't know.  And even if my worst fears come to fruition, I can always do something about it.  So worrying about the change is surely wasted energy.  This I have learnt today.

NY Resolutions - One week in and going strong

I am finding this new take on resolutions delightfully energising.

I have strummed on my guitar virtually every day since watching with envy at the frolics and fun of the band playing Jools' annual hootenanny.  I know now a number of chords and have even taken to playing quite a few 3-chord songs - including 'The Star Spangled Banner', Irreplaceable and many many songs made famous by the Everly Brothers, who my Mother used to love - she has played and written songs for years.

I am still using my sumptuous Sanctuary, Champneys and Clarins spa products every day.  This one is easy as I have obviously reached an age where my friends are both mature and insightful enough to buy me these indulgences for birthday and Christmas pressies - lush.  So I don't even need to spend a penny to keep this one!

My other resolutions are also going well - eating meals regularly with the family, blogging more(!) and I am certainly planning to buy the Sunday Times tomorrow and spend at least an hour reading it in bed.

One week in and all is well.  Give it a month and we'll see :)

Don't Stop, Start

Last year felt like a really tough, fairly stressed out year.

But is it all just relative? I mean, I am still in good health, still have a good job, and a supportive family. So why am I beating myself up about gaining a few pounds, anxious about my next move at work and tense about improving happiness at home? I really do not know, but I think it's what some people would call being ungrateful, others ambitious.

Either way, it's that time of year when, even if you swear you don't, we all make resolutions.

We all look back at the past year, grade ourselves for both effort and achievement, before arriving at the one thing that we need to fix in order to be a better person.

Stop smoking, speeding, gossiping, drinking, shopping, eating too much, and a myriad of others which tend to all be of a similar bent. They involve us stopping a habit that we currently enjoy, on some level. Hence why they are often doomed to fail.

So I agree wholeheartedly with Alice Du Parcq in this Sunday's Style magazine, whose solution to this conundrum was to take something up, not give something up.

For once, I cannot wait to throw myself into my list of resolutions, which include learning to play guitar, and using spa bath products everyday.

I, for one, am giving up the giving up!

Letting go of the go-getting

Apparently, hoards of young professionals, particularly women, are currently doing just that.  Climbing off the ladder, having an 'ambition comedown' (Grazia), stepping off the treadmill, the hamster-wheel or other euphemism for Corporate high-flying.

Is this really that new? I imagine that the economics of the last two years have made many people re-evaluate priorities, whether or not they have now decided to down-shift their careers. I'm sure the end of the eighties saw a similar exodus, caused by the soul-searching that inevitably follows a period of empty values such as greed.

On my first 'real' trip to Canary Wharf last week, the reality of the banking crisis and credit crunch was brought home.  Standing at West India Quay, looking at the HSBC tower, and others, the symbols of wealth and austerity were so overt it was vulgar.  Particularly when less than a mile away, there are some of the poorest communities in London, which I found out while getting lost on the way to my budget hotel.

 Don't get me wrong, I am not knocking corporate life.  I actually get a huge amount of satisfaction from being able to influence a company's direction.  For many people that just doesn't float their boat, and that's ok.  This doesn't mean they are letting go of the go-getting per se, just that their motivation comes from elsewhere, for example voluntary work, freelancing, being their own boss, or a stay at home mom.  And of course, these all are fine.

We all need a handful of things that get us out of bed in the morning.  Whether or not this means thoughts of smashing the glass ceiling, or perfecting Jamie's 30-minute meal Moroccan lamb, is all down to choice.  Both of equal importance, and perfectly fine by me, of course.

Napster for iPhone Uk

Somebody somewhere please sort it out. Have now been using spotify subscription for over 6 months and it just doesn't cut it.

Why oh why oh why is this so hard

And if it's in the US then why not here?

And then 'the industry' wonders why illegal downloading goes on. Probably because the greed and lack of competition in certain services makes it difficult, for those that want to legitimately pay for e-music, to access it in a way that suits them.

Disgruntled of Shropshire