Change is Way Better Than a Rest

Is that really true? If change is better than rest, or if any change is better than bad status quo (discuss), why do people (still) avoid change?

I started a new job some weeks ago, and I have confirmed what I suspected and posted at the time. I heart change. Or at least, I love the results that change can bring about. Seeing a positive impact because of something you have done, said, or how you behave is seriously addictive. I believe its this 'making a difference' that we all crave, or at least trot out. Which, out of interest, I have been citing in job interviews for the past 20 years, near enough. So I assume it must be true (discuss). So much so, that I am also coming to realise that it probably doesn't even matter if one job or company is better than the next for me, because I feel able to change enough variables if something isn't working. Plus, the thing that really floats my boat is busting a cap in the status quo, so it is almost irrelevant what the starting point is. All that matters is that my contribution makes a positive impact in a way agreed with my employer's objectives.

I'm not saying all change is rosy. And I'm not saying I'm a robot who could work in any type of environment per se. That would be foolishly naive. And at times, I have found the degree of change, the need to assimilate new information, ways of doing things, and making sense of it all quite challenging. Perhaps there is a future post about our ability to deal with change as we get old(er).

But for me, I have confirmed that I find change and challenge totally energising. A pleasure, not a pain. A delight not a chore. Something to embrace and not to fear. After all, its inevitable, isn't it?

Good Things Come in Small Packages

Have you ever wanted something so badly it totally consumes every waking thought. At least whenever you stop to pause between work, the kids, the next deadline, domestic chores, that is. Which of course I am totally relaxed about after beginning to apply Getting Things Done.

Anyway, I love discovering new music. A soulful, jazzy singer songwriter ticks a lot of boxes for me. Jazmine Sullivan ticked a lot of those boxes and has an exceptional voice to boot. Unfortunately for me, her profile has been fairly low key and she has done few live gigs in the UK. Imagine my child-like excitement when I get the Jazz Cafe e-flyer announcing a UK date. Yay!!!! The celebration was short-lived. By the time I went online to buy she was sold out - boo!!!! Gutted was not the word. I called up my music biz brother, who is friends with the supporting band, to see whether he could hook me up, as the youngsters say. No joy! Being a small venue, everything was tight, tight, tight. Damn. But, wait, apparently there might be another gig. Yay.

The tickets for the second gig went on sale on Aug 20th, the date I flew out on holiday at the crack of dawn. Needless to say, by the time I had even thought about anything remotely connected with home or work, like the internet, they were all sold out...again...damn...deja vu. Absolutely gutted, mortified. Anyway, long story short, by some fluke of luck, on Tuesday, 2 days before the gig, I received a call to say I had won 2 tickets in a competition I found online. Obviously, you've got to be in it to win it ;-)

So last night, I went to see the amazing Jazmine Sullivan. Bloomin brilliant. Even better than the album, and I believe she has more to give. One of the best performers I have seen for a long time. But I couldn't help wonder why only 2 dates, at such a small venue? Yes, I know it is the Jazz Cafe, which certainly used to have a reputation as an uber cool, intimate and exclusive haunt. But now? really? Surely not for an up and coming talent, who has been on the scene for a couple of years. Surely there is a lesson in here around promotion. That aside, due to the size of the club I was able to easily squeeze my way to a decent mid-section of the crowd. Even better, I was able to exploit my lifelong height disadvantage to full effect to get right to the front - the very front! There's nothing better than being 2 feet away from someone sharing their deepest thoughts and feelings with you in melodious tones, riffs, jazz scats - you name it, she can do it. And as a bonus, she was wearing amazing shoes.

Sweat The Small Stuff

It's September, which means only one thing. The lull that is brought about by Summer holidays is most definitely over.

I had a lovely holiday, thanks. I read my many books whilst being the biggest (not literally) sun lizard on the beach. After unwinding with much needed chick-fodder, I moved onto grown up reads. Starting with Dear Fatty (Dawn French), Dreams From My Father (Obama), and then moving into my choices from the self help shelf - Outliers (Gladwell) and Getting Things Done (Allen).

Each book served its purpose in my search for emotionally horizontal , motivation, inspiration and mental clarity. I usually plan for the last book to be the one that energises and launches me back into work re-energised and renewed. Something that will adjust my attitude to match my obligatory physical reinvention of image when I get back to the office (natch). No other book has served its purpose like Getting Things Done. At the thought of returning to my new job, I felt completely calm at the prospect of just how much stuff needs doing. In fact I felt more calm than I ever have done about work - ever. The proof will be in the pudding of course, when in 6 months time I am still chillin out, maxin, relaxin as I leave the office on a Friday evening.

The key message for me? Sweat the small things. You see, I've always viewed myself as a big picture thinker, you know? It sounds more exciting, fun, sexy even - or is that a step too far? What I hadn't realised was that my inability to process and sweat the small stuff was seriously stifling my big picture thought process. So now I have it sussed and have started on the journey of organising my "stuff" - both big and small. I don't recommend many books but this is an absolute life changer. Trust me, I can feel it..

Don't Care How, I Want it Now!

It was Summer today, so I decided to go out for a leisurely Sunday morning run. Actually by the time I had decided what I should wear as it got hotter and hotter, and what music I should run to - radio, because I was just taking it easy, it was more like midday. So off I went for my run in the midday sun, and did indeed pass a few mad dogs and English men, also out chasing pavements.

Radio 1, Fearne Cotton, to be precise, proved great company and even made me laugh out loud a few times - yes it is difficult to run and laugh at same time. And as aways it gave me the chance to hear the odd new-music track shoehorned in between the current play list of songs, which are generally played at least three or four times every day. You know them - a bit of Take That, FloRida, Rihanna, Kanye, Kings of Leon yada yada. But just occasionally you do get that gem of a song that makes you think - whoaaah, where can I get that? I had one such moment today when a song by somebody featuring GaGa was played. And then Fearne says that the release date for download was the end of August. What???!!! You mean I have to wait 3 weeks to be able to legally download something Ive just heard on the radio? On what broadband-saturated, digital-age planet does that sound sensible? Whatever! I thought, I will just go without - didn't like it that much anyway.

Now rewind to about 3 weeks ago and it was a different story. I'm on my way to salsa one evening, and I hear Zane Lowe battling against some very hip and trendy DJs, when they drop a track which I decide simply has to be the soundtrack to my Summer. Anyway, by Ducksauce (aka Armand van Helden and A-Trak) is just a wicked blend of soul, funky house and harmonising vocals - everything I like rolled into one. That very weekend, I go onto napster to find the track - no joy. I then try i-tunes - same. Nothing, nada, not even a link or release date on A-Traks Myspace page. What is a girl to do? The good weather is all but over, and my soundtrack song, which will paint my Summer memories a lovely rosy hue is not available.

So, I put my googling, interrogation skills to good use and found an mp3 of the track on some random site. Was it an illegal download? To be honest, I really don't know. All I do know is that I was more than happy to pay for it, and perhaps listen to, and buy some of their other tracks, but they weren't ready for me to buy it yet. Hello??!!! And then bands and record companies complain about file sharing ,and not getting paid for digital content. Hello??!! Wake up and smell the coffee. Even Jay-Z said it on Zane Ls show a few weeks ago. Recorded, or digital music is like something that's in the clouds, its free, and difficult to monetise. Get over it, stop making it difficult for people to buy digital content, stop giving the file sharers a good reason to go down the illegal route. When I hear something on the radio, I want to be able to buy it. End of. Get with the program and figure out the new business models. The Internet has not time for inefficiency, and middlemen who add no value. Simply folding your arms, and spending all of your efforts on trying to lock the digital walls after the horse has not only bolted but is enjoying a skinny, soy latte with an extra shot in Starbucks, is getting tiring.

Breaking Up is Never Easy

No, this post isn't another autopsy of Katie and Peter. For a few years now, I have started to liken a lot of things in life to relationships. I have a strange feeling that this may coincide with my recent discovery, some might say obsession, of Sex And The City. My assay of SATC and its impact on modern every day life - women, men, friendship, cocktail menus - must be saved for another day.

I'm rambling here about change, and why it is so difficult to do - either to oneself or to someone else. I realise there are a plethora of models, hypotheses etc on the subject but I still don't quite get it. Is it really just about comfort zone, dislike of being changed, fear of the unknown, difficulty of learning new things, not believing that the trade off of the new benefits are worth losing the old? I used to believe one or all of those reasons but now I'm really not sure.

Recently, I broke up with my employer. Why was it such a difficult decision? Generally I have always sought change because I believe it is key to becoming a bigger, and more fulfilled person. There is, however, something about throwing the baby out with the bathwater, that comes with change. Just like an episode of SATC (sorry), when SJP has to finish with a guy who has "performance issues", she is actually more upset about ending her new friendship with his mother. When something changes, you undoubtedly lose something. The baby in the bathwater with a job might be the people, the short commute, the perks, your uber-cool boss. I mean, who would ever be able to leave the Googleplex, with its free dry-cleaning, gourmet meals and swimming pools?

Is it really down to that - fear of losing more than you gain? Is it really just a logical, even if subconscious, thought process that weighs up the old vs the new. I have no qualms admitting that I am a hopeless optimist. Now, don't get me wrong, I take a very analytical, rational approach to decisions. But I tend to err on the side of "this will turn out OK because ....... and even if it isn't, then I will ....."

So perhaps positivity plays a big part in how people deal with change (I think Seligman might agree), and why I tend to embrace the new. That, and the knowledge that I am in control of my destiny, whatever happens.

More on change another day

Summer Reading

I'm certain there is a snazzier title in here somewhere but I merely want to spend 10 minutes musing over just that...my Summer reading list. Actually, its my holiday list to be precise. For as much as I would love to have time in the day to curl up in a bug cosy fleece and fluffy slippers with a mug of cocoa, it just never happens. There is always something else to do.

Unless, of course, I am far away from that thing that needs doing. En vacance, I spend roughly 50% of my time reading - at the beach, by the pool, at breakfast. The OTM book is only banished in the evening, and if I am exploring wherever it is in the world I am.

I think you can see that this two week reading window of opportunity is critical to the success of the holiday as well as reminding me how to read, topping up my literary intake, stimulating my thinking and self-development, and enabling me to converse with the chattering classes (that last one was a joke), so this takes some thinking about beforehand. It cant just be thrown together, and I certainly cannot simply grab whatever is on special offer at the Waterstones at the airport.

So, what is on the list? Well, there is some logic to it. I always take a mixture of deep vs shallow, trite vs serious, fact vs fiction, corporate vs real life. Right at the very top of my list, which I will start with to help the wind down is He's just not that into you. I have already read the introductions and it is laugh out loud funny. I may follow that with Shopaholic and Baby (yes, you read right). I'll have you know I was probably one of the first to read Shopaholic (and the follow-on's) many many years ago, probably when Isla Fisher was still wearing a checkered summer dress on Home and Away. I always take a salacious biography, and I'm currently torn between Russell Brand and Dawn French. Then onto the business books that will be fortunate enough to make it into the critical collection. My rule is that they must be easy reads, with concepts and principles that relate to every day life. So in the past, Tipping Point, Funky Business and Blink have all made it onto the list. This year's choice is easy. I need to buy The Long Tail in paperback (luggage allowance-friendly) so that I can finally finish it. I will also add Chris Anderson's new book - Free. I will complete my literary summer holiday with The White Tiger, and White Teeth - a bit like watching big Oscar winners, I like to give critically acclaimed reads a try. The jokers in the pack (two of them) are The Accidental Billionaires (beginnings of facebook) and Bringing Down The House (the book behind the film 21, which I saw recently).

The very task of pulling this incredibly important list cannot be underestimated - this is essentially a years worth of reading, compressed into two precious weeks. Fab!!!

I heart New York

I have run on and off for about 12 years now, and am currently very much in the "on" position. I run four or five times a week and am keen to run another major city marathon, having completed my first in New York a couple of years ago.

So, imagine my disappointment when I found out I hadn't managed to get a place in the ballot for this year's marathon. To say I was GUTTED, would be an understatement. The very polite email comes through which starts off "Thank you for applying...blah blah blah". You know very well from this opening line that you haven't made it. And then imagine my horror... I mean, delight, of course, when I saw the opening line in the email to my novice husband's entry "Congratulations. You have been accepted...blah blah blah". This is so not fair!!!!!

I have spent the past few weeks in my own little Kubler Ross change curve of emotions - denial - not quite believing that he had been successful on his first application, when he is nowhere near as passionate, has not entered for NYC and London marathons 3 times each, as I have, is not as dedicated to running, and in no way hearts NYC as much as I do - it is my spiritual home. I really was expecting a follow up email which said there had been a mistake. Anger had to be suppressed as I had to be happy for hubby, as a supportive partner (Yeah, right!). Depression - I decided I wouldn't even bother going. I was trying to be so blasé about the whole thing, so suggested he could go and make a "boys' weekend" out of it (Yeah, right!). And finally acceptance. I am truly happy for him because it will be an amazing life experience. And I will be there to cheer him on, as he was for me two years ago when I choked up at the sight of him cheering me on at the end of the Queensboro Bridge (a very tough mile 16)... New York, here we come :)